Compassion and self-compassion
Compassion literally means to co-suffer, or to ‘suffer with’. It has been defined as the feelings that arise in us when we are confronted with the suffering of others and, which trigger an urge or motivation to alleviate that suffering. Self-Compassion thus, can be taken to mean extending compassion to ourselves when we experience suffering, pain or when we feel inadequate and taking actions to relieve our suffering. Kristin Neff who based her formulation of self-compassion on Buddhist teachings proposes that self-compassion is composed of three main components, namely: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
She defines self-kindness as being warm towards ourselves when faced with pain and shortcomings rather than ignoring our feelings or resorting to harsh self-criticism. Common humanity, she proposes involves recognizing that suffering and feelings of personal failure are part of what makes us human. They are part of a shared human experience. Finally, Neff conceptualises mindfulness as the act of being balanced towards our emotions and feelings by neither suppressing nor exaggerating them. To Neff, this is about observing with openness and non-judgementally ‘negative’ or difficult feelings.
Compassion focussed therapy
Compassion Focussed Therapy (Gilbert, 2005) is an evidence based framework centred on self-compassion. It is currently the main model which has operationalised the use of self-compassion for clinical/therapeutic purposes with impressive results for various manifestations of psychological distress. CFT was designed to work with individuals who experience high levels of shame and self-criticalness. It may be described as an integrative framework in that it integrates ‘techniques’ and thoughts from various psychological models including cognitive behavioural therapy, relational approaches, Buddhist psychology, and neuroscience. The central therapeutic technique of CFT is ‘compassionate mind training’, which teaches the skills and attributes of self-compassion.
In summary, CFT proposes that human beings have inherited an emotional regulation system made of three main components: a ‘threat system’ focussed on dangers, a ‘drive system’ which motivates us to achieve or compete, and a ‘soothing system’ which promotes safeness and connectedness. Each system is posited to be associated with specific ‘feeling-states’, motivations, purposes, and corresponding neuro-chemical phenomena. The balanced use of all three of those systems is believed to be required for optimal psychological functioning. In individuals with high levels of shame, self-criticalness or who tend to be hostile towards themselves however, the ‘soothing system’ is not easily accessible or is under-developed.
As a result, these individuals are believed to have difficulties experiencing reassurance and safeness because the neural systems that activate such feelings are thought to have been underused often, as a result of abuse, neglect, or other chronic experiences of being at risk. Those experiences have made such individuals essentially learn to resort to using self-criticism and shame to manage psychological distress and pain. One may say, they have internalised the hostility of their environments and come to relate to themselves in the same way the world has treated them. ‘Compassionate mind training’ helps clients to counter such tendencies by developing compassion for themselves and others. It includes guided exercises to foster compassionate skills and attributes such as: ‘distress tolerance’, self-kindness, and/or self-soothing.
Self-compassion and Blackness
The belief that ‘therapy is for white people’ is a persistent one within Black communities (Black here is intended to designate communities of the African diaspora: those ethnic groups who descent from Africa, although this model may be more relevant to Black groups who live in contexts were they are minoritised). Of course, there is some truth to this notion, mainstream psychotherapy models generally take little account of race and racism and their effect upon the psychological world of people of colour. Many have asserted that white culture forms the foundation of the theory, research and practice of mainstream psychology. White culture has been taken to refer to ‘the synthesis of ideas, values, norms, beliefs, and behaviours’ centred on or created by descendants of white European ethnic groups. This criticism is of relevance to current models/use of self-compassion.
Though current models do recognise that shame based self-relating tends to develop within abusive, neglectful or threatening relational contexts, they are not exempt from this criticism. Shame even within CFT has been largely removed from broader socio-political contexts resulting in unduly individualistic formulations. However, distinctively from dominant groups, people who are racialised as Black often experience shame because of their otherness, because of their Blackness. This shame is largely the result of trying to fit into a white society which consistently tells us implicitly or explicitly that our Blackness is inferior, threatening or otherwise problematic and that we must assimilate into Eurocentric ideals to be acceptable, alienating us from parts of ourselves which many of us then come to despise.
In other words, race related shame is a by-product of power structures and of racialised social hierarchies. In that sense, we may argue that it is a powerful tool of social control which serves the interests of dominant groups. Indeed, feeling ashamed of our Blackness reinforces whiteness and the subjugation of Black people. A Blackness Centred Compassion Therapy model would thus have at its core the socio-political and historical origin of race related feelings of shame Black groups experience trying to survive in a white supremacist culture and their performative functions. Further, whilst there is an explicit acknowledgement of the impact of unsafeness or recurrent stressors in the creation of shame and self-criticalness as ways of self-relating within self-compassion frameworks, the centrality of axes of oppression such as racism in creating feeling of unsafeness has received little attention.
Self-compassion and humanity
Neff ‘s conceptualisation of self-compassion reminds us that ‘the very definition of being human means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect’. Facing feelings of inadequacy may be particularly painful for many Black people because of internalised racism. Admitting to them may be seen to amount to accepting racist notions of inferiority. Consequently, self-compassion may reengage us in our humanity. Treating ourselves harshly when we are experiencing pain, not attending to our suffering when we feel inadequate and silencing these experiences disconnects us further from our humanity, it isolates us. From a socio-political perspective, by harshly treating ourselves, we essentially do the ‘masters’ work: we dehumanise ourselves and reproduce societal contempt towards Black bodies.
People of colour particularly Black people have historically been expected to spend much of their existence attending to the needs of others, caring for ourselves or being kind to ourselves have been at odd with social constructions of Blackness and dehumanising beliefs around inferiority or worthlessness. Further, Black people have historically, had to focus so much on surviving that we may not necessarily have created a culture of self-nurture or self-care. For these reasons, centring our needs and experiences have become radical acts defying social expectations of servitude, subservience and notions of insignificance.
Using compassion and self-compassion as a way to relate to ourselves and each other also seem consistent with more Afrocentric worldviews. Striking similarities between the Buddhist conceptualisations of self-compassion and Ubuntu philosophy can be made. Ubuntu roughly translates as ‘human kindness’ though, several definitions of the worldview exist. Ubuntu posits that society gives human beings their humanity. It proposes that a person can only be a person through other people and because of their recognition. Being is therefore envisaged as a process by which we become aware of the us in others and the others is in us. Ubuntu places emphasis on the intersubjective nature of our human experiences. Humanity is seen as quality we give to each other. ‘We are because you are’ or ‘I am because we are’ encapsulate the spirit of Ubuntu which closely link to the notion of interbeing within compassion frameworks. Both emphasise the state of being inter-connected to others and the world moment to moment, but also to the past (e.g. our ancestors) and to a co-constructed future.
The lived reality of race remains a factor that profoundly shapes the lives of people of colour. The visibility of Blackness and its loaded history continues to have deleterious consequences on life opportunities, course and expectancy. The invisibility of the impact of racism both historically and contemporarily on the psychological functioning of people of colour contributes to the marginalisation and silencing of formative race related experiences and their trauma, directly feeding into shame and internalised racism. Further, some evidence suggests therapy which explicitly includes cultural content may lead to increased intimate disclosures, greater willingness to self-refer and seek help and greater satisfaction than those models that use so called ‘universal’ content. There is therefore a strong case for expressly integrating Blackness related experiences within the ‘emotional regulation systems’.
Race related life events such as witnessing or experiencing racial assaults, harassment, institutional racism, discrimination have long been linked to feeling unsafe, hypervigilant and even suspicious/culturally paranoid. Racial oppression can lead to the distrust of white people. Whilst this mistrust is adaptive and serves a protective function e.g. alerting individuals to the threat of race related discrimination or assaults, this apprehension can translate in many Black people experiencing the world from a young age as hostile, unsafe and/or dangerous. Such experience would presumably lead to an inflated ‘threat system’.
Similarly, the ‘drive system’ may also be affected by race. The internalisation of racism can often mean that racial minorities are raised to prove that they are good enough, the notion that we must work twice as hard, to simply be deemed good enough by white society is still propagated and arguably grounded in reality. The belief that any ‘failure’ would confirm racial stereotypes or bring shame onto our family or the in-group, the constant striving for excellence (to defend against internalised racism or race related shame) or for socio-economic betterment in a context of structural disadvantage and racism can translate in the drive system becoming over-used in an attempt to keep at bay feelings of shame and inadequacy and their related fears, positioning many of us towards achievement or competition rather than self-soothing.
To conclude, there are strong empirical and theoretical reasons to posit that Black groups may benefit from interventions focussed on promoting, safeness and connectedness and that basing these interventions on Blackness appears particularly important. This is what the Blackness Centred Compassion Therapy model aims to achieve.
The (draft) formulation Model
Figure 1: Blackness Centred Compassion Therapy
The above formulation diagram (figure 1) is proposed to make sense of race based shame and its connectedness to the historical and to the personal. Personal experiences of the world as racialised beings, experiences of racism and racial identity development will be explored. Formulation here aims to understand and explain survival or coping strategies which have been adopted in the context of a racist culture and the deriving creation of race based shame. Race based shame, concerns feeling of inadequacy which are related to racial otherness, they may encapsulate insecurities about intelligence, beauty, security, opportunities or shame of expressing anger over injustice, or cultural expressions, for example. The impact of survival strategies implemented to cope with race based shame (e.g. assimilation, resistance, striving for excellence) on the emotional regulation (drive, threat and soothing systems) will be explored at various levels of human functioning from micro to macro, the psychological, the relational and the socio-political.
Please note this model is still in development. Feel free to comment and feedback and, if you would like to join the reading group specifically created to comment on developing drafts and/or pilot the model, please use the contact page to get in touch.
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